Stresses of Military Life on Marriages & Families (2024)

Stresses of Military Life on Marriages & Families (1)

Many of us take life for granted in this land of the free and home of the brave. Celebrating holidays and birthdays, putting down roots and watching them grow, family gatherings and lasting friendships, setting personal and career goals with a direct path for happiness and prosperity.

But for the population of heroes among us, the military families who work overtime to keep us safe and free, unpredictability and breaks in routine isn’t an occasional disruption in the lives of veterans, service members, spouses, children and families – it’s a way of life. And when catastrophes like COVID-19 strike, it’s yet another layer of turmoil heaped on top of the stack of stresses they already deal with, each and every day.

Centerstone’s Military Services Director, Anna Goletz is one of the nation’s leaders in mental health and wellness for military families. As a military spouse, she knows well the unique mental health issues that military families face and uses this experience to help other military families in need.

“We get many calls about military related issues such as the stresses of moves, changing schools, deployment, how to help a service member with their PTSD, how it is affecting their relationships or about depression and anxiety,” says Goletz. “Whatever the mental health issue is, it affects the entire family.”

Long-term mental health injuries

The stresses of military life can produce disruptions in marriages and families. Military life results in uncertainty and breaks in routine, which can cause family members to experience high anxiety, depression, PTSD and long-term mental health and wellness injuries. Many spouses feel it will hurt their military partner’s chances of promotion if they would seek help for stress or depression.

Separation, brokenness and uncertainty

Deployed service members are physically separated from their nuclear family. Often, depending on the job they do, they do not have access to the internet to communicate with their spouses, children, parents and friends. Relocation is often a part of the active duty military life for a family and it is very disruptive with changing school systems, making new friends for military children, and traveling distances to cities and jobs. Further, finding extracurricular activities, a new place of worship, and other similar activities can strain any family.

Spouses and broken career paths

Military spouses often deal with the inability to continue or finish their education which can lead to broken career paths and a particularly hard time moving up the career ladder. Constant moves and lack of support can be debilitating.

“For military spouses such as myself, moving each time there is a Permanent Change of Station can wreak havoc on career longevity and a resume. Military spouses work diligently to find positions that are remote and transfer friendly, which is not always conducive to working and raising a family in a new city,” says Goletz.

For example, in some states licensed professionals like doctors, nurses, teachers and therapists have to submit an application for licensure for each state and go through many hoops to work in that new state. If another state requires more classes, then those military spouses have to take them. Clinicians and other licensed professionals must also know all the regulations in their location, reapply for licenses and hope to qualify, which can create more challenges for their careers.

Fortunately, this trend is changing for the better with more work from home positions, military and civilian resources, and support groups for military spouses in similar career fields online.

Centerstone’s Military Services is here to help

The good news is that military families do not have to go through these stresses alone. Centerstone’s Military Services offers services nationwide for active duty military members, veterans, spouses and their families. Support services provide counseling, therapeutic retreats, couples and family counseling, online support groups, classes and workshops. Services are available regardless of the era served or discharge status.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health after deployment, Centerstone can help. Call 1-877-HOPE123 (1-877-467-3123) for more information about our military services.

Stresses of Military Life on Marriages & Families (2024)

FAQs

What are the stressors of military spouses? ›

Military spouses and partners face unique stressors such as multiple deployments, frequent moves, long separations, and concerns for the welfare of their loved ones. At times, they remain at home for extended periods to manage their households and families alone.

What are the struggles of military families? ›

Military life results in uncertainty and breaks in routine, which can cause family members to experience high anxiety, depression, PTSD and long-term mental health and wellness injuries. Many spouses feel it will hurt their military partner's chances of promotion if they would seek help for stress or depression.

What are the struggles of a military spouse? ›

While individual experiences may differ, life as a military spouse generally involves:
  • Frequent moves. ...
  • Separations from extended family. ...
  • Separations from their partner. ...
  • Finding ways to reconnect when their partner returns home from deployment.
Jan 29, 2023

What is military family syndrome? ›

Experts say military kids often suffer from separation anxiety, depression, excessive worry, sleep problems, and other physical complaints both during deployments and after parents return home.

What are three challenges military families face? ›

A family that loses the active presence of a parent through separation faces significant challenges and stress. During the parent's deployment, family members may feel isolated, unsupported, and anxious. They may also experience financial stress. Media coverage of events can also increase concern.

Why are military marriages hard? ›

Military spouses must fight to reinvent themselves, especially if they are out of the workforce. Service members must fight to see their children while also fulfilling their operational duties, forced to choose between pursuing a hard-charging career and being a present parent.

What is the hardest part of being a military spouse? ›

One of the biggest stressors for 44% of military spouses are the challenges that come with employment, in addition to time away from family and providing their children with a quality education. Other stressors include quality of life, military pay and family stability.

What is the divorce rate of military spouses? ›

It's estimated the military divorce rate is around 3 percent. While that number doesn't seem high, it is a higher divorce rate than in other job fields. Several factors could explain why military divorce rates are high.

Is it hard being married to a military man? ›

You may find yourself explaining to people repeatedly that you're a civilian and your spouse is a service member. You may feel isolated. This is particularly true if you move to a new location where you don't have family or friends. You may have little in common with the other spouses, who could be mostly women.

How does growing up in a military family affect you? ›

Children who grow up in military families have unique experiences compared to their civilian peers. They move frequently, spend extended periods of time away from their parents during deployment and training periods, and get indirect exposure to war, conflict and violence, often at a young age.

Why do military families divorce? ›

Stress and Anxiety

Acccording to a 2021 Survey of military spouses, 44% have seen a counselor during their spouse's time on active duty. It's no wonder–the constant stress and anxiety associated with military life can take a toll on a person, which can ultimately lead to a strain on the relationship.

What stress disorder do you get from the military? ›

A person diagnosed with PTSD often experiences specific symptoms — such as recurrent dreams or flashbacks — following a traumatic event as part of the combat experience. In summary, PTSD tends to be more severe and usually requires working with a mental health professional.

What are the challenges military spouses face? ›

What are the key challenges faced by military spouses?
  • Relocation is one of the biggest barriers to employment.
  • Employer discrimination.
  • Childcare difficulties.
  • Emotional impact of the military spouse situation.
  • Breaking down the barriers to employment for military spouses.
Feb 2, 2023

What are the top military stressors? ›

Common stressors include austere living conditions, boredom, family separation, and transitioning between deployment and home (Adler, Litz, & Bartone, in press). These stressors have been reported across a variety of deployments Page 9 Military Occupational Stressors 8 although not all the deployments are the same.

What are the cons of being a military spouse? ›

You will spend time apart from your new spouse.

Service members often work on important holidays and life events; they may even miss the birth of their children or have to leave very soon after they are born.

What are the stress factors in the military? ›

Research in non-deployed military personnel certainly supports this argument, with work-related stressors such as changes in responsibilities, staffing and work hours being the most commonly reported sources of stress (Pflanz, 2001; Pflanz and Sonnek, 2002; Pflanz and Ogle, 2006).

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